Men who stare at goats; parents who gaze at children

amI recently saw the film Men Who Stare at Goats and although it was pleasant enough, it was ultimately disappointing.  One of the chief problems with the film, in my view, was its tone:  it strives for “whacky” but ends up forced.  I suspect that the reason for this discordant tone was the subject matter—army experiments with telepathy.  One can just imagine studio execs wanting to be really clear that they think this is all crazy while at the same time half-heartedly making some sort of anti-war statement and managing to please everybody at the same time.

The film casts all characters with any sort of telepathic ability as complete misfits, ranging from bizarre to outright cruel.  In zeitgeist terms I would take this as evidence that telepathic notions are on the collective conscience (as evidenced by George Clooney stepping up to play an “earth warrior”), however the general view of the sixth sense has moved little beyond Bewitched circa 60’s television except that the psychics are now “men” (quotes because they are all seen as less than sane, much less truly manly).

As a parent, I hold the non-scientific position that kids are generally born psychic, or at least psychically wide open and more intuitive than the typical grown-up who has been socialized away from cultivating or paying attention to intuition.  Beyond my own intuition on the subject, however, I have struggled to figure out how to make the case for this, much less encourage parents to endorse a reasoned playfulness in deliberately trying to connect with our kids at a telepathic level.  Many parents would say that they feel connected with their children at a deep level; fewer would openly admit trying to vibe messages back and forth.

A couple of summers ago I was exploring information on a chapter for my parenting book that focuses on psychic parenting but found little solid work to turn to.  Sitting in Paris with some friends who lived on a barge, and who had recently been in North Africa researching trance music, told me about a book I’d not heard of— Extraordinary Knowing:  Science, Skepticism, and the Inexplicable Powers of the Human Mind by Elizabeth Lloyd Mayer.  Leave it to artists to sniff out the really pertinent psychological text.  I could find it in no bookstores in France, London and Ireland nor back in LA and finally ordered it on line. 

While I’d like to post more about telepathy and parenting in future posts, for now suffice it to say that Lisby Mayer was a true skeptic who looked into the evidence and research on so-called psi phenomena and found consistent and compelling evidence to support the possibility of telepathy, remote viewing and non-local, conventionally unexplainable communications.  Of note here was the frequent reluctance of rational scientists to believe the data they received.  It was as if this “truth” deconstructed the world they’d lived by and invested so much in that they had no choice but a sort of conscious denial in which they say, “I know it seems to be real, but I still don’t believe it.”

Another key finding was that researchers who expected telepathy to be possible had positive results while researchers running an otherwise identical experiment who did not believe telepathy possible got a negative result—the very thing they expected.  Even the skeptics could only conclude that the evidence suggests that expectation appeared to be the key variable influencing the outcome on telepathy.  This tracks with quantum physics research where if one looks for a particle one gets a particle, but if one looks for a wave that’s exactly what one perceives—suggesting that at the sub-atomic level the observer and object of observation are essentially one unified field.

In turning back to parenting, I posit that we can be telepathically connected to our children if we believe that we can.  This has numerous parenting implications, but for now consider playing with the following idea:  think of something, a thought or feeling that you would like to transmit to your child, but which you cannot for some reason (ranging from her being too young to understand language to him being too angry to let us talk with them) directly communicate.  Contemplate your message (i.e. “I know you are having trouble hearing or understanding my words, but I love you, I am with you, I do not and will not give up on you, I see you are struggling and I am connected with you in your pain”).  Modify your message as you see fit, but work on simply thinking it several times per day for a few days.

Skeptics could easily argue that if you merely think positive and loving thoughts then your body will soften and non-verbal cues will be read by your child and have an effect on them, and to this I say, “Great!”  In parenting and love, being right is of little consequence.  If changing our energy by deluding ourselves into thinking we’re telepathically linked with our children ends in a good result, what’s the harm in that? 

Now I do say that if you want a spoon bent, just use your fingers, and anything that you could say with regular words go ahead and say with words.  Reserve telepathy for matters too delicate for words.  If you try this with your kid and are willing to report back, I’d love to hear whether it was a bust or it seemed to make a difference.  After all, if science (however buried from public consumption) supports telepathy as possible, who better to be psychically linked with than our children with whom we are molecularly linked to begin with?

In the meantime, let’s dedicate today to sending good energy, via actions if we can, and via thoughts for the rest, to all our collective children.

Namaste, Bruce

p.s. When it comes to third-eye contact it’s best not to stare:  look and then look away.

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5 Responses to “Men who stare at goats; parents who gaze at children”

  1. BigLittleWolf Says:

    I haven’t seen the film. I do believe in that psychic openness you speak of – and even the possibility to keep it open beyond childhood. Everything operates against this, of course, but it is possible. Some of us have experienced it. Call it intuition, a sixth sense (or seventh?), or simply some form of communication that science has yet to identify – but I certainly believe it’s real. And most often, though not exclusively, at work between parents and children, and at times, siblings.

    Interesting topic. It begs the question – if we think it’s real (and a positive thing), how do we encourage it and build on it?

  2. Sudden Outbreak of Rhymatoid ArtWriteUs; CDC Contemplates Next Steps « Big Little Wolf's Daily Plate of Crazy Says:

    […] dally through insipid verse – Monday morn, it’s so perverse…) OH MY GOD – men in white coats! Help me please! (I’m seeing goats!) […]

  3. Michele Priest Gautret Says:

    This is one of the things I love about being with my boys. I’ve always been a big champion of instinct — opening myself up to it, listening, and then trusting it.

    But over time, especially after 14 years of daily contact with my very Cartesian-minded French husband, the pure and tiny voice of Instinct became hard to hear through the stricter tones of Logic and Reason.

    My twins are 7 now and, as you say, “psychically wide open” (especially one, who constantly stuns me with his insights, holding up mirror-image reflections of myself and our family dynamics).

    Thanks to them, the conduits to my intuitive mind are less clogged. I still use logic, and bow to reason, but I once again take pleasure in FEELING that something is right, or wrong, as the case may be. And I can see the positive results in my, and most importantly, THEIR lives.

    I value this state of mind and being, and vow to keep this special element of communication as alive as possible, because I’m certain it will be invaluable as my boys grow up, and mother-to-son communication becomes scrambled by hormones and society and their inevitable drift towards independence.

  4. A friend from California Says:

    What does that mean?

    : )

    • privilegeofparenting Says:

      As evidenced by your question, perhaps it means that I’m not yet able to explain this with adequate clarity 🙂

      As my intention in writing here it to be useful, to align with readers hoping to be their best Selves along side me as we strive to lovingly and compassionately consider all our collective children (which may include grown-ups stuck in childlike states as well as our natural environment), perhaps your question, which I’m not sure I specifically understand anyway, is merely something we can both honor. I’ve come to like questions at least as much as answers.

      Perhaps if we both relinquish whatever it was I was trying to convey and turn to your deeper questions we support you in your own right direction: what do you truly want to know?

      While I’m sure I have no answer to your deepest questions, I can certainly wish you in a safe, joyous, interested, creative, fun, healing, connecting sort of direction.

      I am suggesting, or perhaps merely wishing, that with open hearts and open minds we may all arrive at better relationships with our children, our environment and each other.

      I’m also partial to the word, namaste, which means, roughly, “the light in me recognizes the light in you.”

      Perhaps it also means the confusion and darkness and lostness in me also recognizes as much in you and every other.


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